Do you care what other people think of you?
Do you sometimes wonder what the person right next to you might think of you? Or even the stranger you just walked past by?
We all do.
But to a certain extent.
For me, caring what others thought of me consumed me for most of my life.
I grew up with a very well known figure and that person happens to be my mother. I get compared a lot to her and you can imagine how frustrating it can be when people don’t recognize you for who you are and your accomplishments.
And it doesn’t help when your mom works in an industry that praises looking good 24/7.
So you could imagine how sad and insecure I felt when standing next to her at movie premieres or events…
That sort of comparison ruined my self esteem. It really hurt me when people would say things like: “Oh you’re not even as pretty as her” or “how come your mother is so pretty and you’re so fat?” I was a big kid growing up. Tall, chubby and socially awkward. I was taller than the rest of the guys in my class but who doesn’t look like sh*t when they’re going through puberty? But after that awkward puberty phase in my life…luckily miracles did happen to me! Haha!
In the past I cared so much to the point that it costed my health and sanity.
- I cared about how I look and would buy unnecessary materialistic items keep up with my so-called friends
- I cared about what a stranger right next to me might think of me as I am lined up to buy pizza and junk food (true story)
- I cared about what people might think of me if I gained weight
- I cared about winning my dad’s approval for being the best and perfect daughter. I even went into real estate so we could both have something in common to talk about but afterwards I quit because it didn’t make me happy…
All of this caring was so unnecessary and vicious just because I wanted to feel validated. I wanted to be the kid that was cool, the chosen one, the it girl that everyone would talk about and make my mom feel proud of me but all it did was make me more miserable inside.