Change can be good or bad. Change can allow you to grow or hold you back.

And most of all, change can be really scary.

Waiting for college admission letters is hard, nerve-wrecking and frustrating.  But the wait is finally over and now I am in a place that I never thought I would ever be.

I just recently moved to a big city and I feel overwhelmed, lonely and scared. Even though I was born and raised in Ho Chi Minh City nothing compares to the “City of Angels.” Los Angeles is loud, hectic, traffic 24/7. In other words just overwhelming for me. I am a quiet person and Los Angeles is the opposite of me. But that does not mean I do not like L.A.

I am here for a reason.

This is really hard for me to share but I got rejected from a few universities that I really wanted to get in. That itself hurt a lot so I’ve been going to the gym taking sometime for myself; cleaning and settling into my new place! I love to clean because I find it therapeutic. When you have hopes about your dream school and then you do not receive the acceptance later it kind of stings. I hate the feeling of disappointment but I’ve also learnt that dwelling on something too long takes a toll on your emotional wellbeing.

You can’t be grumpy and miserable forever right?

Whether or not you believe in this saying I truly believe that, “everything happens for a reason.” I got accepted to another school, not my first choice but I’m going to make the best out of it and kick butt. I am the type of person that no matter what life throws at me, even if it hurts, it sucks, it did not go my way, I still find a way to make the best out of it because I do not like being stagnate.

Whether it is change at work, school, family & etc… learning how to deal with change in a positive way will make you resilient and stronger.

Change is inevitable so do you want to face change in a positive way or stay stagnate? I think we all want to be strong even if we do not feel like we are. Fake it till you make it! Here is my step by step guide to recover from college rejection. If I can do it so can you.

1. Ask yourself how much can you really control: So the letter arrives and worst case you did not get in. “Why me? What did I do wrong? Was my GPA that bad? My resume not good enough?” And the list goes on…I know it is so frustrating to not have answers. But what is done is done. Take a deep breathe, go cry, take a long hot bath and accept that this is what it is. And it is ok to feel hurt because you cared. But at that very moment you also have the power to control what you can control. Be happy that the wait is over and now you can truly decide what university you want to go to even if it is your second choice. Make the decision to make the best out of your situation. With this mentality you can never go wrong. Just tell yourself: “Ok this sucks, but that does not mean I’m going to let this defeat me. I’m going to look at my other options and kickbutt at the university I decide to attend!” Have a positive mindset moving forward.
2. Manage your stress: When there is change in life or something you are not used to we experience this thing called: “stress.” Stress is your body’s way of responding to anything unexpected or demanded. Stress response is part of our DNA, our evolution and believe it or not but we are not the only ones that experience stress. Fish, birds, reptiles they all secrete the same stress hormones! A fun fact to know 🙂 It is normal to feel stressed at times like this but it is also very important that you take action to reduce stress as much as possible. I do not underestimate the power of stress. Stress is very powerful and can lead to all sorts of diseases if it is long-term. That is why I go to the gym and lift. I love it. After a good heavy session at the gym I feel more energized. I  used to view the gym as a place to just make me look better on the outside but now I am focusing things on the inside too. The gym takes care of my emotions. When I have a bad day, when someone treats me badly or I am hurt the gym takes care of my needs. Everyone is different so find what works for you. I also recommend running outdoors with a friend, reading, cooking or doing acupuncture.
3. Allow time to adjust: It takes time. Do not rush the process of accepting rejection. For me it took several months. I cried a lot the first month because I felt like a complete failure. But then after crying so much I just realized that it was pointless to cry. I got up and did what I could slowly to get back to my old routine. Do not be hard on yourself. Rejection hurts!
4. Seek Support: I have a small group of friends that I trust and confide in. I also lean on my parents for support when I’m feeling down. Talking it out makes you feel better! Do not be afraid to ask for help. But make sure you confide in someone you trust!
5. See change as an opportunity: Please do. It is how you see things. I never understood this saying because I can be very pessimistic at times. But when one door closes another door opens. Try to see the light in every situation. Just because you got rejected it does not mean you will be a failure for the rest of your life. See change as an opportunity and a chance to grow yourself!
6. Leave complaining and blaming behind you: After receiving the news and a couple of months have past by it is time to stop victimizing yourself. Stop blaming yourself for not getting accepted. You did your best and what is done is done. Stop looking back and trying to analyze every step, every action you took. Think about what you can do tomorrow and how you can make the best out of the situation.
7. Acknowledge your feelings and continue to nurture yourself: From time to time I do think about why I did not get in. But I also acknowledge how I am feeling at the very moment. I do not numb the pain. I embrace it and I continue to take care of myself. Because when you look good you feel good. For me no matter how much pain I am going through I always like to be put together. Being put together is more than just a nice outfit. It is about my skin, my body and I want to make sure everyday, every second I am taking care of myself so I can live longer! Do not let the pain, the stress hinder you from your potential. Yes it sucks to be rejected. Stay home, take a break. But slowly get back up. No one ever said life is easy so do the best that you can and that is all you can really do.

I hope this post helps you. College in America is overwhelming and I am still learning every single day. 🙂 My sister is visiting from Vietnam so we are spending the day doing homework and going to the gym later.

Bisous and a big hug to you all.