I’m writing this on a Saturday night in bed. I miss my family it hurts. I haven’t seen them for 2 years. It almost feels like 5 years. I wish I had more guidance about navigating post-graduation life under a pandemic. I feel lost and so alone in America. I miss the connection. I miss being around people.
Half of my friends are back in Asia. I’m still learning to make friends here in Los Angeles. 🙂
I didn’t get much help when I came to this country and I just had to figure out everything as I went on. Post-graduation life in America feels like a culture shock to me. Sometimes at night when I think about my friends here in Los Angeles. I feel jealous that they have their family close by. How lucky of them to have a place to go home when they need help, guidance, love or just to spend time with family. I really wish I could see my parents and grandma right now. I’d give them a hug, kiss them and tell them how much I love them.
Home has always been a place for me to recharge. I normally go home once a year during Christmas or summer to rewind, collect my thoughts, feel grounded so when I come back to America I’m fully charged and ready to go! I miss that structure in my life. I am grieving over the loss of what I had envisioned for myself after graduation.
I’ve never had so many things happen to me all at once. It can be overwhelming at times. I’m juggling the job search, dating, networking, loneliness, culture shock, being in America, and also trying to figure out what my purpose in life is.
I’ve been on a few dates and I’ve learned a lot from it. My advice for you is: no one can make you happy but yourself. Spend time alone. Read. Listen to podcasts (make sure you check out mine!) Go for walks, hit your goals harder! Just keep thriving. When you are the best version of yourself and you’re not looking someone will just walk into your life. I believe in that. Right now I feel like the universe is putting me in the “waiting room” and this room or chapter in my life is to discover who I am and get to know myself well. It’s an exciting part of my life but also very lonely.
Also just because a guy looks good on paper doesn’t mean he’s a match for you. Look for what’s behind the eyes. Don’t focus on his car, the nice things he wears, or his job title. Those things mean very little. The ego is always hungry. Instead, I encourage you to look for values, character, unconditional love, and integrity. Aw I love a guy who’s empathetic, sweet, kind, and has a huge heart. That makes me smile.
My sister is out right now at the Stanford vs. USC game. I cannot believe she goes to USC! I am so proud of her.
Goodnight from Los Angeles! xx
