TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS

I wrote this post months ago when I was going through a friendship dilemma but I was afraid to post it 🙁 For some reason I thought this post would be irrelevant because my blog is about college and life in America.

But now I realize that friendship dilemmas, family problems and etc. do happen while you’re in college. This is part of growing up. Every college student goes through something. We all have our own battles. So pick your battles wisely because you’ve got more important things to do like homework 😛 jk!

This post isn’t intended to point out the bad things in my life. I just wanted to share with all of you that, we all face injustice, rejection, betrayal at some point in our life. But it’s how we deal with it that makes us resilient and allow us to focus on our day without getting sidetracked. I also wanted to write this post to give you a glimpse of my real life. I just don’t just go to class, do my homework and write blog posts. Like any other college student I struggle finding time to study, workout, clean, cook, eat, create content for my blog and on top of that talk to my parents on Viber every other night.

It’s not easy but I work hard to make my day productive and efficient as possible.

It took a lot of years, patience and practice to learn how to forgive and deal with toxic and hurtful people. I learnt to take a step back and walk away which was very hard for me to do because I was so used to arguing back and being the ‘right’ person. If you saw me in middle school for example if a friend hurt me; I would confront them and make a fool out of myself yelling/screaming just to make myself right. I wanted to get EVEN with them. And when I did, I made myself look like a fool. Please learn from me. Never do that! Instead of reasoning with them I ended up being on their level.

Honestly, I don’t enjoy the feeling of arguing back to someone anymore. Having the power to walk away when you feel so tempted to talk back can be a challenge at first. But over time when you learn how to do this, it is worth it. Save yourself from unwanted drama and keep your dignity intact. I have to thank Post Male Syndrome for all of her amazing work. This blog post was inspired by her. I would not be where I am today without her help and kindness.

Here are some words of wisdom I’ve learnt about dealing with those who disrespect you with sophistication 🙂

Be cordial: If you ever run into them be professional. “Hi, how are you? Fine thank you good bye” but do it in a kind way. If you show them an ounce of hate it means you still have feelings. My sister once told me “the opposite of hate is not love. It’s indifference.” No matter how sad, how hurt you are inside, when you see this person, be cordial. Remain professional and be brief. It will take some practice but eventually you will be able to master “the art of being indifference” haha! Remember this isn’t fake. I used to be like whats the point of being cordial when I dislike this person?! And when I look back at all the times when I was like “oh I’m going to show them not to mess with me” it just made me look really stupid 🙁
Do not be on their level: You are the bigger person. You are not swallowing your pride by doing this. Rise above it and be the classy person that you are.
Embrace the pain: You can cry it all out with your friends, your family but never cry in front of them.
Takes time: This is kind of like the secret ingredient, over time you will learn to care less.

I have midterms coming up this week. I wrote this to remind myself that sometimes being the bigger person means staying calm, cool and collected. I also wanted to share with you guys some great news.

Tomorrow night from 6-8pm I will be on KLMU I will be part of the “Miles Monday” show. Miles who is hosting the show is actually in one of my Communication classes. I feel so honored Miles!! 🙂 <3

We’re going to be talking about college life in Los Angeles, my blog and the cool things currently happening at Loyola Marymount University!

I hope you guys tune in. I will be live streaming the show on Facebook.